“There’s no “opt out” button. We’re responsible for three small human beings til they reach the age where they can start making life decisions for themselves, pay their own bills, have kids of their own… And even beyond that, I’ll still feel a sense of responsibility towards them. We can’t just switch this parenting thing off whenever we feel like it; it doesn’t just go away whenever you need a break; we have to deal with it, even on our worst days… and the journey has only just begun. Can you believe it?”
These are the types of words that come out of my mouth during conversations with my husband whenever the reality of our lives just hits me.
Continue reading “Motherhood behind closed doors – Fear, isolation, entrapment and guilt”
I was having a conversation with a friend recently about how volatile our emotions get during pregnancy, and how damaging this can be to our relationships with the people we love the most: our significant others, typically – but also our mothers. And today I’ll focus on our mothers. My friend, who also recently gave birth, could relate. I personally found it difficult to control my emotions during pregnancy and my loved ones endured quite a few of my meltdowns. They also witnessed the occasional fall out between my mother and I. Not surprisingly my main excuse for behaving the way I did towards her was the ‘hormones’. But what if there was more to it? What if there were other underlying issues that neither of us could really fix until the 9 months were over and we both took a step back to just enjoy the new baby? Here’s a little list of what I believe is the cause for these fall outs. Continue reading “Why so many of us fall out with our mothers during pregnancy”
It’s 6.30am on December 11th and I’m now 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I wake up with what feels like contractions that are stronger than the pre-labour pains and Braxton Hicks contractions I’ve been feeling over the past few weeks. By that time, as you can imagine, my patience was starting to run out. No one likes to go overdue. I tell Rom that today may just be the day we meet our princess, because those contractions are getting stronger and occurring at regular intervals. My hospital bag is packed: a large suitcase for me and a beige travel bag for the baby, both waiting at the bottom of the stairs and ready to be thrown into the car at any moment.
Continue reading “Unplanned and unassisted ~ You won’t believe my home birth story”
Pregnancy is probably the most visible physical experience a woman can go through in her lifetime, yet at the same time the most personal. For some, so personal that the goal is to keep it under wraps for as long as possible. From conception to birth, the details, the ups, the downs, the aches and pains… the less is revealed the better. I am (or I have been) one of those women, to a certain extent. Culturally speaking this is how I’ve been raised and these are the beliefs my mother instilled in me. Where I’m from, pregnancy is as biological as it is spiritual. You’re taught to protect the life that is inside of you by revealing as little as possible about it. You’re told pregnancy is a private matter: the unborn baby is precious, and ‘hidden’ for a reason. And I’ve always embraced this way of thinking. Continue reading “My public secret affair”