Sometimes it just hits me that I may actually come across as that stagnant, unambitious and complacent friend our parents used to warn us about. Or the only person in the room who’d gladly turn down a promotion to prioritize my family and work/life balance. I may even be (in fact I know I am) that one friend who’ll encourage you to first consider your own happiness and well-being before taking any opportunity to move up the career ladder, even if your salary was tripled.
Continue reading “Moving down the career ladder while everyone around me is moving up”
“There’s no “opt out” button. We’re responsible for three small human beings til they reach the age where they can start making life decisions for themselves, pay their own bills, have kids of their own… And even beyond that, I’ll still feel a sense of responsibility towards them. We can’t just switch this parenting thing off whenever we feel like it; it doesn’t just go away whenever you need a break; we have to deal with it, even on our worst days… and the journey has only just begun. Can you believe it?”
These are the types of words that come out of my mouth during conversations with my husband whenever the reality of our lives just hits me.
Continue reading “Motherhood behind closed doors – Fear, isolation, entrapment and guilt”
How do you feel when you see photos of babies and young children on social media? Does it make you smile, or do you feel slightly uncomfortable? Being a mother of three children with a huge passion for the digital world and social media, these are questions I’ve asked myself on numerous occasions. And when it comes to my own children, the realisation that I have reached a point of no return in terms of my kids’ online presence wasn’t an easy one to face. Continue reading “On raising a generation of babies born with cameras in their faces”
I’ve heard of adolescent emotional detachment but after thinking about it for some time, I think the phase I’m currently going through with my sons is “pre-adolescent detachment”. I suppose it’s the milder, slightly less challenging version of it. Continue reading “Cutting the cord again: My struggle with pre-adolescent detachment”
I was having a conversation with a friend recently about how volatile our emotions get during pregnancy, and how damaging this can be to our relationships with the people we love the most: our significant others, typically – but also our mothers. And today I’ll focus on our mothers. My friend, who also recently gave birth, could relate. I personally found it difficult to control my emotions during pregnancy and my loved ones endured quite a few of my meltdowns. They also witnessed the occasional fall out between my mother and I. Not surprisingly my main excuse for behaving the way I did towards her was the ‘hormones’. But what if there was more to it? What if there were other underlying issues that neither of us could really fix until the 9 months were over and we both took a step back to just enjoy the new baby? Here’s a little list of what I believe is the cause for these fall outs. Continue reading “Why so many of us fall out with our mothers during pregnancy”
Pregnancy is probably the most visible physical experience a woman can go through in her lifetime, yet at the same time the most personal. For some, so personal that the goal is to keep it under wraps for as long as possible. From conception to birth, the details, the ups, the downs, the aches and pains… the less is revealed the better. I am (or I have been) one of those women, to a certain extent. Culturally speaking this is how I’ve been raised and these are the beliefs my mother instilled in me. Where I’m from, pregnancy is as biological as it is spiritual. You’re taught to protect the life that is inside of you by revealing as little as possible about it. You’re told pregnancy is a private matter: the unborn baby is precious, and ‘hidden’ for a reason. And I’ve always embraced this way of thinking. Continue reading “My public secret affair”