Why I no longer feel bad about my children seeing the less pretty side of marriage

Our children have seen a lot, and chances are, they’ll continue to see a lot as the years go by. They see us in our cringy lovey dovey moments, just like they see us when we’re at each other’s throat. These days, for example, they see an abundance of love, affection and unity, whereas a few months ago they witnessed quite a lot of anger and pain as I struggled with aspects of my mental health.

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Gratitude and resilience in a time of uncertainty

I don’t know if I can call this testimony time… it feels a little premature and random but today I feel very thankfuk and blessed to be able call my creative venture a part-time job, especially during these uncertain times. It’s taken me years to get to this point and even though I still have a long way to go, it feels good to know I’m on that path.⁣⁣

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My journey to becoming fearless and happier

I don’t really know how to start this post, but I just thought I’d share some observations I’ve made about myself lately. I am blooming. I am getting out of my comfort zone. I am taking bold steps. I am trying new things. I am asserting my worth. I am on a journey to becoming fearless and happier.

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Motherhood behind closed doors – Fear, isolation, entrapment and guilt

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“There’s no “opt out” button. We’re responsible for three small human beings til they reach the age where they can start making life decisions for themselves, pay their own bills, have kids of their own… And even beyond that, I’ll still feel a sense of responsibility towards them. We can’t just switch this parenting thing off whenever we feel like it; it doesn’t just go away whenever you need a break; we have to deal with it, even on our worst days… and the journey has only just begun. Can you believe it?”

These are the types of words that come out of my mouth during conversations with my husband whenever the reality of our lives just hits me.

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The adventures of Selika – Film review

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Some time ago I wrote about an upcoming equestrian short film by Sybil H. Mair, called The Adventures of Selika, starring Karidja Toure as the lead role. At the time, filming had only just begun and was still in its early stages. As a lover of all things equestrian I was particularly excited to see a young black écuyère brought to the forefront in such an artistic way, and a story around her life being reimagined and told through film. Sadly I was unable to honour my invitation the London film premiere but I’ve now had the pleasure of watching the film, and it’s now also available for you all to purchase. Continue reading “The adventures of Selika – Film review”

2018 Year in review: Facing my failures

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To fail
/feɪl/
 
verb:
To be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goal.
To neglect to do something.
 
A mark which is not high enough to pass an examination or test.
A mistake, failure, or instance of poor performance.
 
As we approach the end of 2018, instead of the obligatory annual end of year post about everything I’ve achieved and what my plans are for the year ahead, I thought I’d do something a little bit different and come face to face with my failures.
 

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Two as One: Lessons learned in eleven years of marriage

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Two as One by Ryan and Selena Frederick – Available on Amazon. Click here.

 

This month was our wedding anniversary month. On 07.07.07 my husband Rom and I said “I do” in front of our friends and family. I was relatively young, emotionally fragile, wearing a white dress I probably shouldn’t have gone for… but in love nonetheless and determined to spend the rest of my life with this man I had met two years prior. And from that moment on, our lives changed for better.

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And just like that, this mama is now running a business

I never thought I’d see this day. For many years, I have entertained the idea of starting my own business, without really taking the plunge. “I’m not much of a business person…” “It’s not for me”… “I can’t handle the workload, the accounting, HMRC demands, etc.” Well here I am today, doing all of these things, and totally winging it.

This is by far the most stress-inducing venture I’ve ever embarked on, but I’m convinced I’ll look back one day and smile. I’ll be happy that I took that leap of faith. Because honestly, faith is the only thing that made me go ahead with this. Continue reading “And just like that, this mama is now running a business”

I did not go and see Black Panther at the cinema and here’s why

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“This movie looks amazing”, I thought, the first time I watched the trailer. It definitely caught my attention. The cast, the colours, the wardrobe… I can’t say I was left indifferent. And then the film came out. The excitement that ensued was palpable. Countless Twitter threads about the importance of Black Panther; an avalanche of think pieces about the narrative and how the African continent is being portrayed in the film… I didn’t come across a single bad review, a single negative comment. Okay, maybe a couple. But the general consensus seemed to be that Black Panther was the movie of the century, and the fact that it has just made over $1 billion worldwide is a pretty good indication of that. According to everyone, I just had to go and see it now. But here’s the thing… Continue reading “I did not go and see Black Panther at the cinema and here’s why”

Unplanned and unassisted ~ You won’t believe my home birth story

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It’s 6.30am on December 11th and I’m now 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I wake up with what feels like contractions that are stronger than the pre-labour pains and Braxton Hicks contractions I’ve been feeling over the past few weeks. By that time, as you can imagine, my patience was starting to run out. No one likes to go overdue. I tell Rom that today may just be the day we meet our princess, because those contractions are getting stronger and occurring at regular intervals. My hospital bag is packed: a large suitcase for me and a beige travel bag for the baby, both waiting at the bottom of the stairs and ready to be thrown into the car at any moment.

Continue reading “Unplanned and unassisted ~ You won’t believe my home birth story”