I don’t really know how to start this post, but I just thought I’d share some observations I’ve made about myself lately. I am blooming. I am getting out of my comfort zone. I am taking bold steps. I am trying new things. I am asserting my worth. I am on a journey to becoming fearless and happier.
“There’s no “opt out” button. We’re responsible for three small human beings til they reach the age where they can start making life decisions for themselves, pay their own bills, have kids of their own… And even beyond that, I’ll still feel a sense of responsibility towards them. We can’t just switch this parenting thing off whenever we feel like it; it doesn’t just go away whenever you need a break; we have to deal with it, even on our worst days… and the journey has only just begun. Can you believe it?”
These are the types of words that come out of my mouth during conversations with my husband whenever the reality of our lives just hits me.
Some time ago I wrote about an upcoming equestrian short film by Sybil H. Mair, called The Adventures of Selika, starring Karidja Toure as the lead role. At the time, filming had only just begun and was still in its early stages. As a lover of all things equestrian I was particularly excited to see a young black écuyère brought to the forefront in such an artistic way, and a story around her life being reimagined and told through film. Sadly I was unable to honour my invitation the London film premiere but I’ve now had the pleasure of watching the film, and it’s now also available for you all to purchase. Continue reading →
A mark which is not high enough to pass an examination or test.
A mistake, failure, or instance of poor performance.
As we approach the end of 2018, instead of the obligatory annual end of year post about everything I’ve achieved and what my plans are for the year ahead, I thought I’d do something a little bit different and come face to face with my failures.
This month was our wedding anniversary month. On 07.07.07 my husband Rom and I said “I do” in front of our friends and family. I was relatively young, emotionally fragile, wearing a white dress I probably shouldn’t have gone for… but in love nonetheless and determined to spend the rest of my life with this man I had met two years prior. And from that moment on, our lives changed for better.
I never thought I’d see this day. For many years, I have entertained the idea of starting my own business, without really taking the plunge. “I’m not much of a business person…” “It’s not for me”… “I can’t handle the workload, the accounting, HMRC demands, etc.” Well here I am today, doing all of these things, and totally winging it.
This is by far the most stress-inducing venture I’ve ever embarked on, but I’m convinced I’ll look back one day and smile. I’ll be happy that I took that leap of faith. Because honestly, faith is the only thing that made me go ahead with this. Continue reading →
“This movie looks amazing”, I thought, the first time I watched the trailer. It definitely caught my attention. The cast, the colours, the wardrobe… I can’t say I was left indifferent. And then the film came out. The excitement that ensued was palpable. Countless Twitter threads about the importance of Black Panther; an avalanche of think pieces about the narrative and how the African continent is being portrayed in the film… I didn’t come across a single bad review, a single negative comment. Okay, maybe a couple. But the general consensus seemed to be that Black Panther was the movie of the century, and the fact that it has just made over $1 billion worldwide is a pretty good indication of that. According to everyone, I just had to go and see it now. But here’s the thing… Continue reading →
It’s 6.30am on December 11th and I’m now 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I wake up with what feels like contractions that are stronger than the pre-labour pains and Braxton Hicks contractions I’ve been feeling over the past few weeks. By that time, as you can imagine, my patience was starting to run out. No one likes to go overdue. I tell Rom that today may just be the day we meet our princess, because those contractions are getting stronger and occurring at regular intervals. My hospital bag is packed: a large suitcase for me and a beige travel bag for the baby, both waiting at the bottom of the stairs and ready to be thrown into the car at any moment.
Pregnancy is probably the most visible physical experience a woman can go through in her lifetime, yet at the same time the most personal. For some, so personal that the goal is to keep it under wraps for as long as possible. From conception to birth, the details, the ups, the downs, the aches and pains… the less is revealed the better. I am (or I have been) one of those women, to a certain extent. Culturally speaking this is how I’ve been raised and these are the beliefs my mother instilled in me. Where I’m from, pregnancy is as biological as it is spiritual. You’re taught to protect the life that is inside of you by revealing as little as possible about it. You’re told pregnancy is a private matter: the unborn baby is precious, and ‘hidden’ for a reason. And I’ve always embraced this way of thinking. Continue reading →