On being more confident and trusting the process

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What a busy few weeks it’s been for me. Things are getting more and more intense at work – that honeymoon probation period is now long gone and I find myself having to work under just as much pressure as everyone else.

Speaking of which… Looking back at the woman I was a year ago and the woman I am now, the changes are undeniable. And I’d like to think they’re visible. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I recently turned 30 but I feel I have grown in wisdom and confidence. Work has definitely made me braver, more audacious. I have recently taken on a lot more challenges than I thought I would, gone through more training to broaden my skill set, agreed to be moved to a new team – which was completely unexpected and quite daunting at first. If you know that something could be beneficial for you, and to your growth… don’t reject it. Embrace it and as my fellow blogger Debra would say, trust the process.

In my personal relationships, I’ve made a conscious effort to let go off the people who no longer had a place in my life. I’ve also come to terms with the fact that some of the relationships I had tried to maintain for so long were in fact very toxic. It took me a lot of courage to either walk away, or cut out the negativity and turn the bond into something much healthier. This was not easy. It was a huge leap of faith. I had gotten used to the toxic environment, so embracing the change was a lot harder than I thought it would be. But again, I’ve chosen to trust the process.

Even when it comes to my riding, my confidence has definitely gone up. The fear is evaporating as time goes by. The more I ride the less scared I am to fall off my horse or mess up. This has taken a lot of mental strength, I’ve adjusted to the risks involved in the sport and it isn’t something that happens overnight; it is the fruit of years and years of hard work, familiarising myself with different horses, different riding techniques, and… you guessed it: Trusting the process.

But I think one of the biggest changes that has taken place is the change within myself and how I perceive myself. I’ve become a lot more at ease and at peace with the person I am. I’m no longer worried about the opinions of others. Be it with the way I look, the way I speak, the way I interact with others… I don’t focus on my little hang-ups anymore, or the things I wish I could do ‘better’ or ‘differently’. I just do it, and I do it with pride.

This very process is one of the things that pushed me to start a new venture which I’ll share at some point this week: My brand new Youtube channel. If you know me well, you’ll know how uncomfortable I am in front of the camera. I’ve always been the person behind the camera, not in front of it. But I recently decided to overcome this by creating a Youtube channel which will focus on lifestyle, food and leisure. It’s a personal project of mine just as much as it is a personal challenge. Determined to see myself grow in boldness even more through this channel, it will be an exercise of faith and courage, which by the way I would love you to witness.

Stay tuned for the big Youtube reveal, the channel is still being prep’ed right now so I’m not quite ready to share it.

But until then… take care.

~

Outfit details:

Blouse: H&M

Trousers: Mango

Heels: Mango

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Processed with VSCO with a4 presetProcessed with VSCO with a4 preset

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